By MomWise Olatunde Onabajo
I have two beautiful girls born exactly 2 years and a week apart. They are both so unique in their personalities. I can still remember the moment they were born, forever etched in my memory. My older cried, her strong lungs in full display while my younger stayed quiet (which kind of got me worried) until the nurse tapped her firmly—at my request. Ironically, my younger’s Appearance, Pulse, Grimace, Activity, and Respiration (APGAR) score was slightly higher than the older…but that’s another story for another day.
My older daughter is a ‘princess’ who crosses her legs when eating, sitting and even sleeping (I’m not joking)! She’s quiet, a picky eater who likes dresses, fancy shoes, and princess related items.
My younger daughter—bless her heart—is a little rougher on the edges. She sucks her thumb, jumps on her bed, tumbles all over the couch, and can run for miles… such high energy! But she also likes her hair done a certain way, has a strong dislike for jeans, loves sneakers…you get the picture.
They are both unique in their personalities which, in my earlier years of parenting, I struggled with. How can two people from the same womb and same parents come out so differently in their expressions, personalities, and individuality? But I soon remembered the scripture in Psalm 139:14 which expressly states: “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Your works are wonderful, my soul knows it well.”
My children are created by God with their unique personalities and individuality for a purpose. Although their purpose may not be 100 percent clear to me, I am rest assured that He who fashioned them is shaping my princesses to become their own unique individuals, as they mature.
Therefore, I need not compare them with each other or even with other children. I should not put one’s unique personality down and praise the other. I should not say “I wish you would just be like your sister or brother or so and so.”
Rather, I have recognized that part of my parental roles and responsibilities is to praise God because my daughters are fearfully and wonderfully made; I must help them recognize this truth that there will never be another version of them. I must help them recognize that no matter what the world tells them, what matters MOST is what God already said, ever before they were born: “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations”( Jeremiah 1:5).
Isn’t that amazing?